Finding You and Me
by ThatTeenagerZander
Summary: Faberry! Rachel berry genderswap! Nicholas Berry fell in love with a certain head cheerleader as soon as he got to highschool problem is the cheerleader is Quinn Fabray the top popular teen at school. Quinn on the other hand gets the chance to either make Nicks Life complete or completely wreck it all.
1. Chapter 1

Glee Faberry fanfiction AU. Rachel-Genderswap! Nicholas Berry has his eyes set on a head cheerleader problem is he is the loser of the chool. Quinn on the other hand may make his life complete or wreck it all.


	2. Slushied?

**A/N Hey! This is the First chapter of the fanfic, I'm sorry for any errors, I'm not the best writer, but I hope I can go far into this fanfic 70 chapters maybe? I don't know.**

 **This fanfic starts off as Nicholas summer before his second year of highschool, as so as the rest of the glee clubs main members arw going into the same grade as him.**

 **I'm going to write this in first person, review if you want 3rd person maybe?**

 **For visual Nick Berry will look exactly lile Shawn Mendes so you have an idea of what he looks like.**

 **Disclaimer! I DO NOT own Glee or any of it's characters!**

 **Well anyways here it goes!**

* * *

Nicks Point of view;

I woke up from my blaring alarm annoyed. "Stupid alarm" I groaned and turned it off. Getting up out of bed, and manabed putting on clothes. I looked over to the mirrior. _well shit._ I thought. _I dress like a dork, no wonder i'm such a loser. Hmm I should go to the store._

I drove to the store, I walked in and started walking towards the mens section. "What to pick?" I mutterd. After hours of trying on clothing, I ended up with a hell of a lot of items. All black skate shoes, black and green hightops, black leather jacket, couple of hoodies, tan, two black, two dark wash, skinnier fit jeans. Five longer athletic shorts, bomber jacket, seven t-shirts, four v neck shirts, and aviater sunglasses. Lets just say there was a shit load of money was spent.

After paying and getting in my car I went to get my haircut.

They cut it into a medium length quiff, I thought I looked better and felt better. Hopefully I won't be picked on like last year of being picked on those animal sweaters and haircut.

 _God, I'm such a whimp and loser. I never stand up for myself, I get slushied, i'm in love with the Quinn Fabray. Maybe joining the Football team? No never...maybe? Maybe next year after I start weight lifting and have actual muscle._

I get home. "Dads I'm home!" They must not be home. I was used to it by now, there drunks, always getting drunk. They were great parents but once I turned 12 they just gave me money so I could get food for myself. They don't care about me at all the just expect me to eat and do whatever. They think they don't need to parent me at all.

I looked over at a knife. Just Thinking how easy it was to kill myself no one cares about me if I were to die now, they wouldn't miss me. If I killed myself no one would search for me. No I wasn't suicidal I just didn't care if I lived or die, no one cares about me. Life would go on and no one would mourn for me. I guess I'm just selfish. If a car was coming at me I wouldn't jump out of the way, if someone were to point a gun at me I wouldn't beg for my life, instead I wouldu dare them to do it. But I wouldn't do it to myself willingly. But still no one cared. I'm just a _nobody._

* * *

 ** _END OF SUMMER FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL..._**

I wake up at 5:00 am get athletic clothes on, then go outside and jog two miles, as I get back I started my weight lifting. I had started weight lifting in the begining of summer, plus started certain exercies. I'm close to a six pack, I have built pretty good muscle towards my biceps, I lost a lot of fat, I look way better than before, hopefully people think that too.

After my morning exiercies I take a nice cold shower.

"Hmm what should I wear?" I decide on my black skinnier fit jeans, my hightops, a light grey pull over hoodie, out lined with black, and a white v neck that says ' **good girls go to heaven bad girls go to my bed'** In black bold print. I put a little bit of hair gel in my hair and brush the top of my hair to pull quiff to make sure it's smothed back and then brush the sorter hair on the sides of my head.

Perfect.

I head off to school

As I walk in the halls I can tell apart the Populars, the geeks, the nerds, the gamers, the skaters, the skanks, and the new fresh crew of students. I fit in of none of these groupings. I'm just a nobody.

"Woah woah woah, Hold up Hobit. You got a haircut, new clothing and muscle! Damn!" Santana chuckled.

"Y-yeah" Santana then stared at me weirdly for a second.

"Your voice is like deep now! Berry finally hit puberty!" I nodded, not knowning what to say.

"You mute now?" She laughed and walked off toward Brittney muttering stuff to herself.

Then I saw Quinn...Quinn Fabray head cheerleader. Quinn is just stunning. And what perv made those uniforms so short I can barely contain myself. Well whoever did, God bless them quinn looks beautiful in the uniform. Her legs. Her lips that I so badly wish I could kiss. Her perfect Hazel eyes. Without realizing it I started day dreaming. Then the bell rang waking me out of my thoughts. I hurried off the my first class which is English.

Ugh. I like English, but I hate the teacher. He is a dick head.

I sat down at a back desk. Then Quinn came in looking as beautiful as ever. We share this class! Yes! Holy shit. She sat down in front of me!

I mentaly slaped my forehead because I was staring at her now and she was looking at me funny, I blushed and looked down at my notebook trying to hide the redness of my cheeks.

I could smell her perfume. She was perfect in all ways to me even her flaws. Which I connot find one. She turned around towards me.

"Hey" She gently whispered.

"Hello" I made a goofy dopey smile. I like her so much I smile weird around her. Great.

" So can I borrow your pen?"

"Y-yeah S-sure" I stutter. God I must sound like a total idiot. I handed the pen to her.

"Thanks" She smiles. God, I will do anything to make her smile like that.

I listened to the teacher partly. Mostly thinking about Quinn.

Soon class was over. I headed out the class room but was stoped by Quinn.

"Yes?" I asked.

"Here's your pen" She started handing it to me.

"N-No it's fine, you keep it. O-only if you like want to of course." I sputtered fastly.

"Oh cool thank you, Nicholas" She smiled and walked away.

I put on that same goofy smile. She said my _first name!_

* * *

It was close for the bell to ring and school to end. I was grabbing my books when a certain Puck came by with a cherry slushy in hand. "Shit" I muttered. No I was not going to be a loser. No.

So with all the courage I had within me, I grab the drink and slushie it on him. He sucker punched me before running towards the bathrooms.

"Nick that was really brave of you" I turned around to see who it was. It was Brittney.

"Oh uh yeah thanks"

She leaned in towards my ear and whispered "I know you love Quinn" and with that she just skips towards Santana.

How the hell did she know?

* * *

 **Again sorry for any errors!**

 **sorry for a short chapter, they will be longer I promise.**

 **REVIEW PLEASE, I take critism too it helps me. And be free to leave sugustions!**

 **I'll update next week.**

 **Until next time**


	3. Pain Filled With Sorrow

**Hello! So I decided to update earlier! Also this fanfic will go through glee like season 1 2 3, just different in some ways like all the people joined glee before they usually did like mike and puck. Plus, With Quinn and Nick, who should make the first move? I dont know? Review of what you want. I'll start writing in OC's in.**

 **Disclaimer; I DO NOT own glee or its characters.**

 **Here it is**

* * *

A few weeks past with the incounter with Puck. The bullying had gotten worse, slushied more often. Karofsky and the jocks often push me into the lockers. I don't care to fight back anymore. What's the point? It'll just get worse. Things won't ever going to change and here I am just listening to Mr. Shue talk about his lesson of Ballads for this week. Of course I knew the most about a ballad. I am the best in here after all.

The worst thing though is Quinn being pregnant. Not that I think she sinned, she didn't, it's who the father is. Finn was the father. Finn...He always tried to steal my soles! He was a jerk to her! He sexually harasses her! And, I desereved the soles I practice hours! Freaking Hours a day! I bet he only sings in the shower which must be once a month. He always strains his high notes. I just want to punch his dopey grin off of him. Just stupid all of it is. Mr. Shue just favors him, I swear he has something against me. Whatever That will _not_ get in the way of me being a star. I'll shine brighter than the rest of them. Well nowadays I guess I don't seem to care about that as much. I just want to be accepted I guess. But i'm just a freak? Right? That's what they call me it must be true.

Recently I have been more depressed than usuall. I try to say it's nothing, but i'm never happy now. I used to not let the bullying get to me. Now it's all it does, get to me. I'm weak, i'm worthless no one cares. Those thoughts invade my mind a lot. Suicide? No never I couldn't. But how else will this end?

Just when I tought Quinn was being nice, she turned bitter on me. I can't blame her who would be friends with me? No one that's who.

The bell rang. It's the end of the day. Thank god.

I walk to my car only to have Karofsky pull me aside holding a tight grip on me.

"Let me go!"

"You really think I'm goning to do that, loser?" He chuckled.

Soon he drags me into an alley, his football friends with him. My eyes widden in terror. Oh no this has to end badly.

"Hey sup dorkus! Ready to get a beating?" Beating...I try to prepare myself.

Before I could say anything they took turns beating, punching, kicking me, they used a metal bat and a pole of some sort, I hissed in pain it felt I was being crushed. It lasted around an hour. As soon as they left I curled up into a ball, there was blood. Most coming from my mouth and where they had taken a pole and bashed it against my head, I also felting something wet like blood underneath my sweatshirt on my stomach. I just laid there and let tears flow down my face. I couldn't move without feeling as though I'll faint or without huge amount of pain . After a while I manage to pull myself up whincing at the pain. Limping and stopping until I got to my car.

It took me a while to get in my car. I put my arms around my stomach, protecting it from anyother thing thag might cause it pain.

Why...why? Why did everyone hate me to the point of hurting me this badly? Why didn't I fight back, why did I just let it happen! _because you deserve it. All the hate, you're worthless._ A voice rang in my head. I began to believe it, maybe I did deserve it I thought as I walked up into my room, laying on the bed I slowly drifted off to sleep.

* * *

I woke up to a throbbing pain all over, mainly on my head and ribs though. I stand up hissing at the pain. Then take off my clothes, and replace them with, long black with red on the side athletic shorts, then a white cotton long sleeved shirt. I put on black socks and then my hightops.

I decided to check out my injury. Looking in the mirror in the bathroom I saw a big gashing mark above my eyebrow blood trailing down the side of my head. My mouth having blood in the corners. A black eye too. Great thisnis gonna hurt today. I wash off the blood and put a band-aid above my eyebrow. I lifted up my shirt to see huge bruises along my rib cages on both sides, and a big cut mark on my stomach, I clean it and put cloth and tap it on. Touching my ribs and whinching in pain, it hurt to walk and hurt to breath.

I make it to school on time to have the football team smirking at the damage they had done. I limped but tried my best to hide it.

"Did you fall on your sorry ass Berry?" I heard Karofsky snicker. I just walked it off hoping to avoid him. he instead had different plans than I. He pulled me by my collar and slamed me against the locker groaning at the amount of pain it cause.

"Anwser me!"

"Yeah I-I did I fall"

"Good" he pushed me one more time to scare me and walked away. My ribs hurting more.

The bell rang and I decided to skip school today I couldn't make it through the day. I started walking at one of the schools side enterance, not noticing a certain Blonde following me.

I got in my car only to look next to me and see Brittney. Shocked I jumped a little only hurting more.

"It's okay, and I won't tell anyone you love Quinn"

"Oh uh okay?"

"So what really happened?" I gave her a puzzeled look.

"Your hurt, and I know you didn't fall"

"Football team"

"Oh they are assholes, I know." I didn't know she swore."Want me to tell Santana so she can tell the football players to leave you alone?"

"No thanks. It's okay I'm fine" I reasured her.

"No your not. Why are you so sad?" I swear Brittney is Psychic, how else does she know this stuff.

"I'm not sad" I force a smile.

"Yeah you are, you're not yourself lately. And don't fake smile."

"Look I don't know I feel depressed lately." I looked down.

"It's okay. Wanna go over to my house tonight. It can be a sleep over! The unicorns will love you!" why not?

"Yeah sure" she handed me a peice on paper with her address and phone number.

"Okay, come over around 7:00 pm, kay?"

"Yep" I smiled.

"Bye bye" she waved and walked back into the school

* * *

I took a extra pair of clothes and put it into my backpack. I grabbed my phone and headed over to Brittney's house.

I knocked on the door, her mother anwsered.

"Oh hey "

"Hello! Brittney is waiting for you in her bedroom."

"Okay." Bedroom that's a little suggestive.

I knocked on the door of her room.

"Mom I'm fine I don't need anything."

"It's Nick, not your mom"

"Oh Nick yay! Come in!"

I open the door and walk in.

"You can sit on my bed" uh okay...

"So how are you Brittney?"

"I'm really good, although my cat has been active in some gang war lately." What? I shook it away from my thoughts.

"Oh uh okay."

"I have a plan!"

"For what exactly"

"To get you Quinn together!"

"Oh and how is that suppose to work?" I questioned.

"We get her jealous"

"How?"

"You'll fake date me, and we will kiss in the hall and stuff!"

"Aren't you and Santana together?"

"No we just have Sweet lady kisses" Brittney stated.

"Cool?" Is sweet lady kisses secret code for sex? I have zero clues.

"Won't the football team like ruin your reputation if you date me?"

"No Santana will make them back off."

Amd with that me and Brittney talked about her plan and such. Soon it was over and we went to sleep.

* * *

I woke up. The bruising had gotten worse and so had the pain, I took some pain killers. I dressed in neon green long athletic shorts and a black cotton long sleeve shirt and wore my shoes. I brushed my hair and put gel on the quiff, then brushed the shorter side hair. I'm thinking I should dye my hair black, hmm? Maybe. Lately the depression thoughts have gotten worse. I think I may have major depression. It has gotten that bad.

I offer to give Brittney a ride. While in the car she said she are now offically fake dating and to call her Britt, babe, baby. Pet names and such. And hold to hands.

I really hope this works. We soon arrive at school I park and we get out. She reaches for mh hand while in the hallway. We hold hands she kisses my cheek and then lips. People were staring. I felt weird.

"You think this is working?" I whispered.

"Yep"

Santana aproaches us.

"What are you doing with that lame ass hobbit Britt?"

"First off his name is Nick, and he is my boyfriend"

Santana brust into laughter"That's funny Britg, really funny"

"Not joking though" Brittney replied.

"Wait what. You can be serious."

"I am look" she went on her tippy toe and we french kiss, that shocked Santana for a bit.

"Whatever, date that loser for all I care." And like that she walked off.

"See it's working" she said.

"Yeah, yeah it is" I smile. I so badly want to date Quinn though.

That day went by fast a lot of people thought Britt was crazy. But after a while they came around. Quinn seemed off, she acted more bitchy towards me. Like she was jealous. I smile at the thought. But then that wiped off my face as the pain from my head and ribs came back. What the hell did I break my ribs!?

I was walking towards my car when Karafsky came around again...no please no. I felt fear rush me. This time it was just him. But he still beat the shit out of me, all with a metal bat. I didn't fight back as the thoughts of being worthless deserved it came back. Again I just sat there unable to move, this beating lasted longer. This time he said If I told anyone I was dead. Anger rushed through my body afterwards. The pain was worse than before, it was tripled. I got home three hours later, falling asleep on the couch. Brittney was my only friend right now. My dads are gone on trips they don't care.

I woke up and started crying from the pain, I took pain killers. I very weakly went into the bathroom and saw my face, dried blood. Out of the corners of my mouth blood went down my chin. Gashes above my eye had blood going down the side of my face. My nose hurt, blood going down both nostrals. Just blood. I lifted up my shirt to find bruised along my ribs, stomach on my chest I took my shirt fully off to see my shoulders red and bruised, hurt. I had a bruise trailing up my neck. I looked terrible and felt terrible. But I deserved it, It was my fault.

I found a razor blade and lifted up my shirt sleeve, along my fore arm and wrist I had started cutting unevenly, not perfect lines, I cut deep on my forearm and litter on my rist. I did this to both arms. They were filled with many cuts now, I counted 30. Not enough I needed relief I needed to know I was alive that i'm really here. I also deserve to have ugly marks to be hurt. Relief. I started cutting on my shoulder, then my stomach. After I had many cuts. I saw blood and felt better When I felt the razor I felt better. I bandaged my cuts.

Soon I went put and bought more razors and long sleeve cotton shirts, jeans, hoodies, and button up shirts anything to hide my cuts.

I packed the razors in my school bag and left some in my bathroom. This made the pain go away I don't care if others say it's wrong. I need it

* * *

 **So Nick really went off the deep end.**

 **This chapter was longer and sorry that there was no Quinn and Nick time There will be next chapter!**

 **I will have Nick interact with other characters soon**

 **Sorry for any errors, review and be free to leave suggestions!**

 **Do you guys like the Brittney and Nick friendship so far?**

 **And the reason why I did Nick instead of Ryan for Rachels genderswap name is because the name doesn't really fit his personality and everyone does Ryan and I wanted something not as close as Rachel.**

 **Please review it means a lot!**

 **See you soon!**


	4. Finn Damnit!

**A/N I will be writing 7,000 word chapters now so after this chapter thee will be 7,000 word chapters, And this chapter i'll have a little bit of Quinns pov.**

 **WARNING: Abuse.**

 **Disclaimer; I own nothing!**

* * *

 **Quinn POV;**

I wake up tired more than usual, pregnancy hormones. The whole school knows i'm pregnant, I haven't told my parents yet. I can't they will disown me! I've told Finn it was his child. It was really Pucks. Puck...out of any guy, him. I got drunk on wine coolers went over to his house. He convinced me to have sex with him. I wish it was really a guy like Nicholas, brave, won't let anyone tear him down, confident, cute. I've noticed he got muscle over the summer. He may even be hot. No. I can't like him. But I do I really do.

But I screwed all that up when I started being mean and a bitch towards him. I was no longer a cheerleader. I had to reputation. Is this what I put him through? I felt terrible now.

Lately Nick has been acting different. He used to always sing, try to be best. Now he doesn't sing. He does't care who sings more than him. Distant. He seems distant.

I took a nice long warm shower then blow dried my hair.

I put on a nice dress and flats on. I brush my hair until it's smooth, then take a white with blue design on it.

I pick up my phone and text Santana asking if she can give me a drive. She replys with a yes. I'm surprised my parents haven't noticed me not in my cheerios uniform. But I guess it's normal they don't really pay attention to me. They just only care about making themselves look good infront of others.

I wait outside my house for a few minutes until I hear Santana pull up the driveway. I got in her car.

"Hey Q"

"Hello, how are you dealing with Britt?"

"She can date whoever she wants I don't care." But I could tell she really did. I decided not to push her too far.

"How about you though Q?"

"I don't like Britt."

"I mean with Berry. You totally have the hots for him." I felt heat on my cheeks.

"No I don't" _yeah you do._

"Whatever, I know you do."

"Fine, yes I do like Nicholas, he is kind, caring confident, I love the way he smiles, he is cute, his personality, the way his eyes seem to sparkle everytime he sings! I don't care if you hate him. Because I Like him! He is handsome, a gentleman, he is brave I like all of him, even is imperfections seem perfect to me!"

"Woah, Fabray. You have it bad." I huff.

We continue chatting on the way to school. Once we got there I saw Nick walk up to me.

"Hey, How have you been Quinn?"

"Okay, you?"

"Yeah i'm fine" I noticed he had a small limp. Also his right eye was black, he had a bandage above his right eyebrow aswell. Something was not right.

"What happened, your eye?"

"I was riding my bike, I wasn't looking where I was going and hit a stop sign." I didn't believe it but let it slide.

"Okay. So would you want to go over to my house after school or something?" Hopefully he would say yes. Maybe we could become closer.

"Oh yeah sure." Yes I smiled."so what time?"

"6:00pm" I replied.

The warning bell rang.

"May I walk you to your class, which is English, right?"

"Yeah we share it" He offered his arm and I put my arm around his.

We got there. I listened to the teacher partly. I loved writing and reading. But this Teacher just sucks.

Soon class ended. Towards the end of the day. I went to Glee. This was the week of ballads and such. I sat down and Finn came along and sag next to me. I felt bad that I was lying to him about being the father. I felt really bad.

Glee ended and everyone parted their own ways.

* * *

 **Nicholas POV**

The pain from my ribs hurt to the point breathing hurt so bad. I couldn't tell anyone. I was scared. I was ashamed. I was scared to walk to my car. So I managed to run to my car. I didn't see karofsky. I got to my car and drove home. I opened up the door to see my dads there. I called Leroy Papa and Hiram Dad. Although I don't really think of them as my dads.

"Son get me a beer please." He was drunk ..

"Okay" I sighed. I went to the fridge and grabbed him a bottle, I lost my grip and the bottle smashed onto the ground. Big mistake.

"Stupid boy!" Leroy yelled at me and grabbed me by the arm forcing me into my room. He took his belt lifted my shirt and stsrted whipping me with it. It hurt so bad I started sobbing. He nev3r nest me before. He kept on slapping the beltnon my skin for twenty minutes. He left me. It's my fault. I shouldn't have dropped the bottle. I choked out a sob.

I walked into the bathroom grabbing my razor, lifting my sleeve up I carved deep letters _**worthless**_ I repeated this on the other arm and on my theighs. I looked at the clock. Shit. It was 6:10pm I'm suppose to be at Quinns. I made the stupid mistake of forgetting to clean the cut marks, the blood.

I get to Quinns house my back and sides stinging at the touch of my shirt. What I didn't notice was the blood already going through my sleeves.

I pressed the doorbell. anwsered.

"Hello "

"Hello, come in." I walked in th house."You Must be Nick."

"Yes ma'am."

Quinn walked down the stairs. "Hi Nick, want to go to my bedroom?"

"O-oh u-uh yeah-yeah." Bedroom...

"Follow me." She showed me around and we lastly ended up in her room she looked down at my arms seeing the blood, Her eyes widdened.

"Oh my god Nick what happened!" She pulled my sleeve up before I could pull away. She gasp as she read the word worthless and the many marks on my arm. Fuck! I didn't clean my cuts!

"Um.."I trailed off not knowing what to say.

"You did this to yourself?" I nodded.

"Why?"

"I deserve it I'm worthless."

"No you're not." She stated firmly.

"Yes I am, and just please don't go around telling everyone. Please." I begged her.

"Okay, but please stop." I shook my head."than at least try."

"Fine. okay.".

She hugged me and I whinced in pain by the beating my father had done and what Karofsky did.

"What? Whats wrong?"

"Nothing, I just hurt myself accidently"

"No you didn't let me see. I gave in and lifted up my shirt. She saw the bruises the welts, red skin. The cuts I did. Everything. She tarced it gently with her finger. I saw her eyes tear up.

"W-who did this to you?"

"The bruises that look older are from the football team. The blacker bruises are from where they beat me with a metal bat. The lighter ones where they kicked me. The areas of red marks are the cuts I did. The bruises on my shoulder and neck are from the pole they used to hit me with. The welts and the red areas on my back are from my dad." I said and looked down.

"How bad does it hurt?"

"Like someone shot me in the ribs."

"It could be broken." I didn't think of that.

"I'm sure it isn't."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure." I noticed she was still tracing my stomach. We leaned in closer. I could feel her breath. I kissed her gently, it continued I poked my tongue out to gain enterance, she let it in. I swiped my tongue on her bottom lip, biting it playfully.

I laid her gently on top of me as we countinued to make out, she stopped.

"What?"

"Brittney"

"We faked dated to make you jealous so I could get a chance at dating you."

"Oh"

"Your not mad are you?"

"No, i'm tired could we cuddle?" And so we did we both fell asleep.

* * *

I lefted as soon as I woke up. I felt warmth next to me.

I opened my eyes to see where it was coming from. Quinn. She's so beautiful when she sleeps.

"Hey."

"Hi."

"So you're not going to tell anyone about...?"

"I won't, but please go to a doctor."

"I can't or else they will know and then everyone will know. I'll be even more of a loser.

"No you won't be. In real life out of highschool nobody cares about that stuff. They just know they won't get out of this loser town. Unlike you." I smile at that.

"And you. You will get outta here."

"No I won't." I look at the time.

"Sorry I have to go."

"Oh okay, goodbye."

And so I left. Geez are me and Quinn dating!? Or are we just...? I don't know.

I walk into StarBucks. I saw Mike and Matt, they waved me over i went and had a seat with them.

"Hey."

"Hey dude"

"So what you guys up to today?"

"I don't know. Were going to go practice dancing at 6:00pm so we could teach others in glee. Hey! Maybe I could teach you! Wanna come to the auditotium with us around 6:00?

I smiled"Yeah. I noticed you don't sing in glee as much. Maybe I could help with your singing?"

"Yeah, sure. See ya later dude."

I sat there for a while. Kurt came in and walked over to me. The past few days Kurt has been staring at me weirdly. He started bring up reasons girls suck out of the blue. By now I knew he had a big old crush on me. It was awkward because I'm straight. I dom't dig guys. And he acts like I may be bisexual or gay. Which i'm not. It makes really awkward conversations.

"Hey!"

"Sup" I reply.

"So I was wondering if you wanted to go see a movie or something?"

"Just us?"

"Yeah! Just us boys."

"Won't people think were dating?"

"Who cares? Let them think that or whatever they want." Yup he wants people to think were dating. Awkward again.

"Uh I can't i'm going to hang with Mike and Matt."

"Oh thats a shame, goodbye"

"Bye.."

* * *

 **Quinn POV**

Finn, my Mother, Father, and I are sitting at the table. Me and him aren't really dating. But my parents think he is.

Finn walks in with my moms radio.

"This week in glee there is a assignment to sing a ballad. Here is mine."

"Finn oh god please don't. Please..."

He sang your having my baby I was pissed of during this. My dad ended it in mid way.

"You need to leave."

"Daddy please no, Finn loves me he is a good guy!"

"You too."

I started shedding tears by now. He was so cruel. He called me a sin. Mistake.

After sevral minutes of begging Russel. I gave up he gave me twenty minutes to pack and leave. I was sobbing. I called Nick

"My dad kicked me out"

"I'll come pick you up."

"Thank you."

I waited ten minutes outside on the curb. He got there and gace me a ride to his house.

"You can stay at my house."

"Thank you again."

"It was the right thing to do. I wanted to help you. Okay?"

"Yeah." I muttered softly. How could my own father do that? How...why?

Soon we got to his house. His parents weren't there.

"Where are your dads?"

"Oh they went on a business trip, they'll be back in ten months." Wow... thats a while.

"Why so long?" I question.

"For their company. They care about it alot, so they go someplace where another building of their company is. They help them out there, and stuff. I don't really know why. They put a lot of money in my bank account so I have enough money for food, clothes, and lots of extra stuff." He ranted.

"Your ranting you know?"

"Yeah, yeah I guess I am." Nick blushed slightly.

"Do you ever see your dads?"

"Yeah, few weeks a year." He looked down."I don't really like them. They are terrible parents. Enough of me, you must be...?"

"Sad. Unsure. I don't really express my feeling that well."

Me either, I just never get them out. Like I'll bottle it up and never talk about. There really is no one who wants to talk with me." I felt bad for making his highschool life so far a living hell.

" i'm sorry for making highschool horrible so far."

"Hey it's fine. They would have treated me the same, if you did anything or not."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, i'm sure." I didn't believe him. But let it slide.

He took his hand and gently traced me cheek, leaning in slowly. I kissed him. He licked my bottom lip. I nibbled his lip gently, surprised he let out a small moan. He backed up.

"What?" I started panicked, did I do something wrong? Oh no. What if I did?.

"No, I just think insteae of making out we could watch a movie and cuddle? To comfort you better."

"Okay" I smiled.

We ended up choosing RENT.

We laid down, he putting his arm around my waist, and I put my hand over his. I felt so happy with him. I think I love him?

I don't know. I started feeling my eyelids getting heavier and heavier, falling asleep in his arms.

* * *

I woke up to his eyes on me. I blushed.

"Why are watching me sleep? It's creepy." I teased.

"Your just so beautiful when you sleep. I get lost in you eyes everytime I look at them." I bit my lip.

"Are wemlike...I don't knoww, offical? Dating?" I Ask nervously.

He looks at me. Kind of like staring. I shouldn't have asked that gah I'm so stupid of course he wouldn't

"I...

* * *

 **cliff hanger! Sorry.**

 **I'll update soon.**

 **Review please!**

 **Bye!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N hello sorry for not updating for a while dealing with some personal stuff.**

 **Sorry for the short story, I just wanted to give you guys a little something.**

 **I'm not going to follow mr shue's lessons, i'm gonna write in different ones to fit the story better**

 **WARNING;TRIGGER!**

 **Disclaimer! I own nothing!**

 **Here it is**

* * *

Nicks pov;

"I don't know. Look I just don't want like anyone to bully you for dating me, maybe in a month or something. I'm sorry truely" I could see the hurt in her eyes. I felt bad.

"O-okay" Quinn looked down.

"It's not because of anything else than I don't want you to be bullied. Your still beautiful, smart, amazing in all ways. Anyways I better go." All she did was nod. Why must my life suck?

I headed out her house got in my car and sat there in pure silence. Nothing but silence. But instead my head was different, my mind was screaming at me, why did I let her go! I should've said yes! Fuck why did I always hurt people! I'm such a mess up!

I got home and sat down on my couch in the living room and stared. Stared at everything. Going through my mind memories. All the memories. What is life? What is the point of life? Why are we here? Why does no one care? What did I do? All the mistakes I've done. Regrets. I picked up my guitar and started singing Adams song by Blink 182

 _ **I never thought I'd die alone**_  
 _ **I laughed the loudest who'd have known**_  
 _ **I traced the cord back to the wall**_  
 _ **No wonder it was never plugged in at all**_  
 _ **I took my time, I hurried up**_  
 _ **The choice was mine, I didn't think enough**_  
 _ **I'm too depressed, to go on**_  
 _ **You'll be sorry when I'm gone**_

 _ **I never conquered, rarely came**_  
 _ **16 just held such better days**_  
 _ **Days when I still felt alive**_  
 _ **We couldn't wait to get outside**_  
 _ **The world was wide, too late to try**_  
 _ **The tour was over we'd survived**_  
 _ **I couldn't wait till I got home**_  
 _ **To pass the time in my room alone**_

 _ **I never thought I'd die alone**_  
 _ **Another six months I'll be unknown**_  
 _ **Give all my things to all my friends**_  
 _ **You'll never step foot in my room again**_  
 _ **You'll close it off, board it up**_  
 _ **Remember the time that I spilled the cup**_  
 _ **Of apple juice in the hall**_  
 _ **Please tell mom this is not her fault**_

 _ **I never conquered, rarely came**_  
 _ **At 16 just held such better days**_  
 _ **Days when I still felt alive**_  
 _ **We couldn't wait to get outside**_  
 _ **The world was wide, too late to try**_  
 _ **The tour was over but we'd survived**_  
 _ **I couldn't wait till I got home**_  
 _ **To pass the time in my room alone**_

 _ **I never conquered, rarely came**_  
 _ **Tomorrow held such better days**_  
 _ **Days when I could still feel alive**_  
 _ **When I can't wait to get outside**_  
 _ **The world is wide, the time goes by**_  
 _ **The tour is over I survived**_  
 _ **And I can't wait till I get home**_  
 _ **To pass the time in my room alone**_

What would have happened if my mother never met my fathers. What if I was never born. Before everything. If there a God. If there is who created God? Who started it all. How was someone created without a creator? My own thoughts started haunting me I couldn't take it "SHUT UP JUST SHUT UP!" I started crying. I should just do it. End it.

I got a shot with herion in it, I had got it from a drug dealer just in case. I got a pen and paper and started writing.

 _For those who actually care, I'm sorry. The pain wouldn't stop. I had to end the pain. This was the only way_

 _For Quinn, I love you. I know I may not know what love is or it is to strong of a word. But I know, I can't shake the feeling this is love._

 _Its not any of your faults. It is My bullies, they caused this. My dads abused me and didn't care it's their fault too. I can't take this anymore._

 _I hate this depression, goodbye_

 _~Nicholas Justice Berry_

There was a knock at the door, who is it? I stuffed my note and herion in my desk.

I went to the door and opened it. It was Quinn.

"Uh Quinn why are you here?" I said bluntly."Sorry I didn't mean to come off as rude."

"Look, I can make my own choices. I don't need you or anyone else telling me what I need." She looked at me for a few seconds then continued."My _o_ _wn_ desision is, I want you! Hell, I _need_ you!" She came in and kissed me roughly.

"Okay"

"What?"

"I want to be with you too." She smiled widely, and then kissed me again.

"Good, but like all couples you need to take me out on a date."

"Me?"I asked questionly.

"Yes you, your the guy in this relationship, so be a gentleman!" Quinn teased.

"Okay, friday night, Breadstixs?"

"Sounds good to me. Bye."

"Bye!" She left. I knew I was not going to be a sad sack anymore. No more bullying. And no suicide. I'm going to make this. Fucking show that Karofsky who's boss.

* * *

 _Next day at school;_

I walk down the halls, taking in a breath. I see the asshole football players. Screw them. I don't give a shit for them, I'm not going to take their shit.

I hear snickering from others. I shoot them a glare. The group turn back down to their phones.

Karofsky walks up from behind.

"Sup loser."

"What the hell do you want Dave?"

"I want to beat the shit out of you."

"Do it. I dare you."

He starts walking towards me, lifting his hands in the air. He moves his fist fastly towards me. I block it and with all of my strength I punch him in the jaw with my free hand.

"What the hell!"

* * *

 ** _Yeah sorry for the short chapter, see you guys soon!_**


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